Beastly by Alex Flinn

Where is this movie? Doesn’t it look awesome? They promised me this movie in July - and then in November. Now it’s December and I haven’t seen any sign of it, have you? So while we’re sitting around waiting for this movie to materialize, how about reading the book - which was also awesome?

I hate people who are really full of themselves; you know, good looking, rich - and unbelievably obnoxious. Which is why I wasn’t too upset when young Kyle’s life falls apart. He’s definitely someone who needs to learn a lesson. And what better way to learn a lesson than to have a “witch” place a curse on you, removing everything you ever thought was important?

Does this story sound familiar? That’s right: Beastly is a modern retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story. Set in Manhattan, Beastly is full of the annoying high school characters we all know and love: the beautiful people, the nerds, and everyone in between. Kyle is, without question, the worst of the beautiful people. Sure, he has money, good looks and an equally beautiful girlfriend - but he doesn’t have any good qualities whatsoever.

One day, he messes with the wrong person, a “witch” who places a curse on Kyle, telling him that he will need to learn to “be as ugly on the outside as on the inside." How will Kyle cope with his new life? How will he get out of this mess? You’ve read the fairytale, you figure it out. Better yet, go find a copy of Beastly.

LAME FACTOR: Yeah, yeah, it’s a fairytale, but it’s not lame. I give Beastly a zero.

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: As you can probably guess, pre-curse Kyle isn’t too well-behaved. Once the curse takes effect, though, there’s not a lot of trouble he can get into.

BRAIN POWER: Nothing too complex here - but you are looking up the words you don’t know, aren’t you?

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

Why haven’t you gotten this book yet? Oh. Right. I haven’t actually told you about it yet. Sorry, but Shiver is probably the best book I’ve read this year - and no, I don’t always say that. Stop being sarcastic.

I kept passing Shiver on a shelf at the supermarket. The cover really interested me but I was starting to feel a little lame for always choosing books because of their covers. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and on my way to the cheese aisle, I threw the book in my cart. Best grocery ever.

Shiver involves werewolves. You may love that; normally, I don’t. Werewolves, vampires. It’s getting a bit old. It’s really the main character of this book, though, that makes up for the fact that it is yet another werewolf story.

Grace Brisbane is amazing. First of all, she’s quiet. If you taught 7th grade, like I do, you’d really appreciate a quiet girl. It’s not that she’s shy or doesn’t have anything interesting to say, it’s just that she doesn’t feel the need to be yakking about nothing all the time. Next, she loves to read. Enough said. But here’s what is most awesome about Grace: as a kid, she was pulled off a tire swing in her backyard and dragged into the woods by a pack of wolves. They bit her - and she lived to talk about it. How awesome is that: bitten by a wolf? I would love to have a story like that.

Enter Sam. Do I need to explain his deal to you? In case you’ve been living under a rock somewhere, the hero of these books is generally either a vampire or a werewolf. On the menu today, a werewolf. So what do you think happens? Girl-bitten-by-wolf meets boy-part-time-werewolf (he’s only a wolf in winter, hence the “shiver” in the title). I think you can figure it out.

I couldn’t put this book down. I told lots of other people to read it and they couldn’t put it down. A few of them cursed me for keeping them from doing work because they had to keep reading. Awesome.

LAME FACTOR: Did anyone guess a zero? Correct!

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: Whatever happens between Grace and Sam (and I’m not telling you what that might be) is not really described in detail, so unless your parents are very sensitive, they should be OK.

BRAIN POWER: Shiver is very well-written without being overly complicated. There aren’t many big words to hurt your head.

Godless by Peter Hautman

What did you do this summer? I bet it all started out fine and then, before you knew it, you were bored out of your mind. It’s not like you did any summer reading assignments, right?

Yeah, Jason Bock is having a summer like that. That is, until he comes up with a plan to shake things up a bit: Jason decides to start his own religion.

That’s right, people. This isn’t the usual summer story; you know, girl meets boy, blah, blah, blah, yawn. Jason actually convinces a group of assorted friends and misfits that the secrets of the universe lie in the town’s massive steel water tower, their new “god.” And what better way to worship one’s god than by climbing straight to the top? How about opening her up and diving into the water below? Sounds good? I thought it might.

As with all stories of course, someone has to ruin the fun with things like, oh, losing his mind and beginning to believe that the tower is, in fact, God. There’s nothing like a clumsy religious zealot (it’s a big word; look it up) to shut down a party.

I read this book aloud to my classes and not a single kid fell asleep. Need I say more?

LAME FACTOR: I’m happy to report a zero on the lame scale.

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: Unless a book is likely to make you abandon your beliefs and start worshipping water towers, your parents should be cool with this one.

BRAIN POWER: Godless uses big people words like “reverent,” “exuberance,” and “quantify.” That’s OK. It’s time you started talking like a grown-up anyway.

Blue is for Nightmares by Laurie Faria Stolarz

Sigh. I apologize, children. There is lameness. But at least I’m warning you.

Having just finished Deadly Little Secret (which I liked) I decided to pick up another book by the same author: Blue is For Nightmares. Ugh. How about we get another plot? This book is, more or less, the same story as Deadly Little Secret: mysterious phone calls, threatening notes, unwelcome gifts, a stalker. The end.

If, however, you enjoy Wicca (which I don’t) and spells and all that, then you'll probably like this book. Personally, I found the Wicca stuff a little irritating. Oddly enough, although I'm all about the ghosts, candles and crystals don't do it for me. Not to mention the main character’s unfortunate problem with bed-wetting. And will someone please explain to me why she doesn’t wash her sheets right away? Ew.

All in all, I’m not loving this one - but maybe that's just me. Don’t say I didn’t tell you, though.

LAME FACTOR: At least a 3 out of 5 for using the same story twice - although, to be honest, this book came first.

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: Will somebody please get a grip on these kids!? The story is set in a boarding school where the students seem to do whatever they want. I don’t think I need to explain that further. It’s not too horrible, but they’re not the greatest examples, either. Also, if your parents are hardcore against things like Wicca, they will definitely freak.

BRAIN POWER: Like I said before, this isn’t Tolstoy. You’ll manage.

Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Faria Stolarz

OK, so school has started and that means you probably have stuff to read; you know, like independent reading books. So how about you put down the manga and the fan magazines, and (oh, please!) the fashion magazines, and read an actual chapter book?

Here’s a good one to start with: Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Faria Stolarz. Things are going pretty well for high school student Camelia - that is until she’s almost flattened by a speeding car. Lucky for her, a mysterious stranger pops out of nowhere and pushes her to safety. He also puts his hands all over her stomach but, well, at least he’s cute, so no harm done, right?

Oddly enough, our hero soon turns up at Camelia’s school. Only it turns out, he’s not much of a hero. In fact, Ben is suspected of having killed his last girlfriend. So what’s a girl to do? Why, fall in love with him of course. Which is when things really start to get weird. Suddenly, Camelia begins receiving mysterious - and menacing - phone calls at home. Creepy photos of Camelia start popping up in the mailbox.

Is it Ben? Maybe. Is it one of the many other slightly weird people who seem to populate her world? What about Spencer, her boss at the pottery store, the one who seems “interested” in Camelia? How about concerned, ex-boyfriend Matt? Is he concerned - or just angry he got dumped?

Well guess what? You’re going to have to read it to find out. In the meantime, I’ve added this very cool book trailer. Yes, book trailer. It’s not a movie, so forget about Netflix and get yourself to the library.

LAME FACTOR: Like most of the books I put on this blog, there’s no lameness here. Otherwise, why would I be writing about it? I give it a 0 out of 5.

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: There’s lots of touching here - purely for scientific purposes of course. Yeah right. There’s also quite of bit of making out and references to sex. If your parents think you don’t know about those things, they probably need to spend more time with you. Anyway, I don’t think it’s over the top, but it’s their call.

BRAIN POWER: You will need one - a brain that is. This isn’t a 19th century, Russian novel. You’ll be fine.

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Andersen

What would you do if your best friend - make that former best friend - called you 33 times on the night she died? How would you feel if you didn’t answer? How about you add on a truckload of emotional problems, a totally screwed up family, and - oh, I forgot - a major eating disorder that leaves you barely alive?

Welcome to Lia’s world.

Once, Lia and Cassie had tons of things in common. Now, they have only one thing: they both suffer from eating disorders that are slowly, painfully, killing them. Each one slowly inches her way towards death, a final escape from a world making both of them miserable. Then, a winner. Cassie, with the help of bulimia and an unhealthy dose of vodka, dies.

Will Lia join her? She knows every weight loss trick in the book. Fooling her parents with pretend eating and faked weight gains, it seems like a sure thing. And why did Cassie finally reach out to her, too late now? Why does she keep reaching out to Lia even from beyond the grave? Could it be that Cassie wants Lia to keep her company?

Wintergirls is an amazingly well-written story from the author of another amazing YA book, Speak. It is a complex story of psychological and emotional problems that run too deep for any teen, or her parents, to understand. You’ll find yourself wishing that she both gets help, and maybe just shuts up and gets over herself, at the same time.

LAME FACTOR: No lameness here. I give it a zero. Please stop telling me there’s nothing interesting to read.

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: I guess there are a few things your parents might not like; you know, like the sharp razors and ingestion of vodka. It’s an important topic, though, so get your parents to take a look at it, and then get reading.

BRAIN POWER: Like I said, Wintergirls is extremely well-written. It’s not ridiculously complex, but might be a challenge for younger readers. High school and most good, middle school readers shouldn’t have a problem.

Love You, Hate You, Miss You by Elizabeth Scott

“You know, I always thought I told you everything, but there are some things I should have said and never did. I should have told you about the time I lost your new sunglasses. I know you really liked them. I should have apologized every time I puked on your shoes and especially the time I ruined your brand-new skirt, the one with the beading. I should have apologized for a lot of stuff.” (From Love You, Hate You, Miss You by Elizabeth Scott).

Yeah, sure. You and your little friends are “bad.” Ha! These two could teach you a whole bunch of new tricks.

Julia and Amy are best friends, doing the kinds of things best friends do: coloring each other’s hair, sharing clothes, laughing and crying over boys. And then there’s the other stuff, like drinking - during school, after school, before school. Oh yeah, there’s also that time Julia gets killed, leaving Amy wondering how she’s going to make it on her own.

Love You, Hate You, Miss You is a complex story of growing up and what it really means to be a friend. I have to say, it seemed like one or the other of them was always annoying me, but that’s probably because I’m an old lady who thinks kids should behave themselves. How boring. You, however, will probably LOVE this book.

LAME FACTOR: I don’t see how you kiddies could find this lame in any way. I’ll give it a zero.

YOUR PARENTS WILL FREAK FACTOR: These two are always up to something, and that something often involves alcohol, drugs, or boys. Get your parents to take a look before you start reading. Only mature readers need apply.

BRAIN POWER: Well-written - but you don’t need to be a brain surgeon to figure out what’s going on.